Spring has sprung in Colorado, and with it, the annual charade of ‘hungry bears’ invading our communities. CBS News wants you to believe it’s about early hibernation. Bullshit. This isn’t a wildlife anomaly; it’s a human failure. Every year, we watch the same pathetic cycle: lax residents, overwhelmed wildlife officials, and ultimately, dead bears.
The data doesn’t lie: Colorado Parks and Wildlife (CPW) reports a staggering 15-20% surge in bear calls this April alone compared to last year. Hotspots like Boulder, Evergreen, and Aspen are ground zero.
Why? Because you’re leaving out a buffet for them. Bears wake up hungry, yes, but they don’t magically appear in your backyard. They follow the stench of your unsecured trash, your overflowing bird feeders, and your pet food left on the porch.
“We’re seeing a definite uptick in activity, especially in areas where human food sources are readily available,” stated Mark Johnson, CPW Area Wildlife Manager for the Front Range, on April 19th. “These bears are waking up hungry, and if they find an easy meal in a dumpster or a bird feeder, they’ll keep coming back.”
Mark, they keep coming back because the “message” isn’t getting through, or worse, it’s being ignored.
The Cost of Ignorance
Residents like Sarah Chen in Evergreen claim it’s “unnerving” to see bears on their porch.
“I saw a large bear on my porch just yesterday morning, trying to get into my trash can,” said Sarah Chen on April 20th. “We’ve lived here for years, but this feels different. They’re bolder.”
Bolder, Sarah, because they’re rewarded for it. What do we expect when we lay out a five-star buffet?
Dr. Emily Carter, a wildlife biologist at CSU, points to mild winters and less natural food. That’s a factor, sure, but it’s a convenient deflection, a smokescreen. The real problem, the undeniable truth, is an abundance of unsecured human food, transforming your backyard into a dangerous, irresistible drive-thru.
Let’s talk about the price tag of this collective negligence. CPW funnels hundreds of thousands of taxpayer dollars annually into managing these entirely preventable conflicts. That’s money for response teams, dangerous relocations, and ultimately, the tragic necessity of euthanasia. It’s a damning indictment: it’s cheaper to kill a bear than to hold a homeowner accountable for their laziness.
Your Mandate: Stop Being Part of the Problem
Let’s be brutally honest: this isn’t rocket science. If you’ve chosen to live in Colorado, particularly near the wildland urban interface, you don’t just have a choice; you have an absolute, non-negotiable responsibility. Here’s what you must do, right now, to stop being part of this predictable, preventable disaster:
- Secure All Trash: Get a bear-resistant trash can. Store your bins in a locked garage or shed until the morning of collection. No excuses.
- Remove Attractants: Take down bird feeders. Clean your outdoor grills after every single use. Bring pet food and water bowls inside, especially overnight.
- Lock Doors and Windows: Ground-level entries, vehicles, and garages. Bears are not stupid.
- Supervise Pets and Children: Leash your dogs. Keep a close eye on kids, particularly at dawn and dusk.
- Know What To Do: If you see a bear, make yourself large, make noise, and back away. Never run. If attacked, fight back. Report aggressive bears to CPW immediately.
The Unvarnished Truth
This annual ‘bear problem’ is nothing short of a charade. The convenient narrative of ‘early awakening’ is a pathetic attempt to sidestep the harsh truth: we, the humans, are the architects of this conflict.
It’s not climate change, and it’s certainly not some unpredictable animal behavior. It’s unchecked development bulldozing into their habitat, combined with widespread, lazy, and frankly, selfish human behavior.
Local authorities and CPW issue warnings, yes, but true enforcement of attractant ordinances? That’s a cruel joke. It’s easier, politically and financially, to put down a habituated bear than to fine a thousand negligent homeowners.
The real motive, simmering beneath the surface? Maintaining property values and allowing continued sprawl without the inconvenient, uncomfortable cost of true coexistence.
Until we demand real action, real enforcement, and real accountability from ourselves and our officials, we’ll keep seeing the same tragic headlines, and the bears will keep paying the ultimate, unforgivable price.
Get your damn act together, Colorado. Secure your trash, secure your homes, or accept that every single spring, another innocent bear will die because of your negligence.
Photo: Photo by magnus.johansson10 on Openverse (flickr) (https://www.flickr.com/photos/120374925@N06/15181578762)
Source: Google News
